This writing here is the second activity after the Hide & Seek writing. We had to write about a place that is special to us and I chose a place called Pohara in Golden Bay. We had to make it as descriptive as we could so when the reader reads it, it's as if their there.
A Special Place
I can feel the wet grainy sand seeping in between my toes as I stroll along
the beach, the beams of sunlight shining down upon the glossy blue water.
The sound of people laughing and chatting in the midst of the rolling waves
crashing up against the shore and the potent smell of the salty seaweed
washed up on the beach. My family and I had just arrived after a five hour
long drive from Greymouth to Golden Bay. The journey felt as though it
had been stretched out for 10 hours because of my great anticipation.
We had just dropped our bags off at Sandcastle where we’re staying for
a week and driven down to Tata beach. I’m about to jump into the water
to do some snorkelling in my wetsuit and attempt to discover what lives on
the freezing seabed. “Splash!” I immediately feel the water rushing into
my wetsuit and cooling my body temperature down as I swim further out
to sea. I put my head underwater to try and spot some fish however the
water is seemingly an endless abyss. I know it can’t be deeper than three
metres considering it’s low tide so I make the decision to dive down.
the beach, the beams of sunlight shining down upon the glossy blue water.
The sound of people laughing and chatting in the midst of the rolling waves
crashing up against the shore and the potent smell of the salty seaweed
washed up on the beach. My family and I had just arrived after a five hour
long drive from Greymouth to Golden Bay. The journey felt as though it
had been stretched out for 10 hours because of my great anticipation.
We had just dropped our bags off at Sandcastle where we’re staying for
a week and driven down to Tata beach. I’m about to jump into the water
to do some snorkelling in my wetsuit and attempt to discover what lives on
the freezing seabed. “Splash!” I immediately feel the water rushing into
my wetsuit and cooling my body temperature down as I swim further out
to sea. I put my head underwater to try and spot some fish however the
water is seemingly an endless abyss. I know it can’t be deeper than three
metres considering it’s low tide so I make the decision to dive down.
The water immediately swallows me whole and as I go deeper my ears begin
to throb. I can see the seabed! It’s an eerie sort of silence down here and
freezing at that! There are many shells scattered along the bottom as
well as schools of fish in the distance. There are starfish covering the
seabed. I realise that I’m almost out of breath and I push off the bottom
as hard as I can and shoot up like a rocket. I gasp for breath.
to throb. I can see the seabed! It’s an eerie sort of silence down here and
freezing at that! There are many shells scattered along the bottom as
well as schools of fish in the distance. There are starfish covering the
seabed. I realise that I’m almost out of breath and I push off the bottom
as hard as I can and shoot up like a rocket. I gasp for breath.
Wow Emil, this is a really stunning piece of writing! You have put a lot of effort and consideration into it.
ReplyDeleteI love how you have given the reader a real sense of what your special place looks/smells/feels like. You have done this by using very descriptive, specific and unusual words. I especially like that you used the word "seeping" to describe the sand between your toes. Seeping sand work well together because of the alliteration on the s sound. "Seeping" also has a lovely slow and soft feel to it. I can tell you have really thought about each word you have chosen to use. The overall effect is beautiful. I hope you have shared this piece of writing with your family. I think they would love to read it and it would be a nice memory of their holiday in Pohara too.
Keep up the good work!
Abi
Emil you have created a magical piece of descriptive writing, because when I close my eyes I can hear the waves, smell the ocean and feel the hot sand underneath my feet. This was especially special as we are currently in our bubbles, so your writing took me all the way to Golden Bay in my imagination. I can't wait to go again, and sit on the beach. Tino pai ki tau mahi!
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